Bush:
Thank you Putin, thank you press.
Let me tell you something:
Mr. Putin is my friend, and I love him deeply.
He has visited my ranch, now he is in Camp David.
He was Russian KGB, but that is not important.
Even though I drank too much, I remember Regan.
He and dad once told to me: Russia is the evil.
Now I am a grown up, and Russia is an ally.
Me and Putin are just friends, we have so much in common.
Both of us are like to talk and cooperate in something.
I say, “Free Iraq!” and he agrees.
I say, “Terror is no good,” and he nodded quickly.
What else? North Korea sucks, and we should lower tariffs.
Steel and oil’s for US, chips and second hand for Russians.
Once again, I don’t drink too much, but I love Vladimir.
He has vision, he has dreams and some strange desires.
Dream my Putin, drink my friend.
Let me blow off something.
Mr. Putin, now it is your turn:

Putin:
Dear Georgic, dear press:
The results of my visits are good.
Our meeting is success, our meeting is triumph.
Bush is good, Bush is nice. Our trade is big, our trade is up.
We will work on Iraq, we will work in UN.
Russians are for peace, Russians are for US.

Here is what Putin may think. It is not sweet poetry, but it may be an ugly truth.
Russia needs dollars, Russia needs bread.
That’s why I am here.
US screwed up Yugoslavia,
US is always for Chechen rebels and lectures Russians too much.
US screwed up in Iraq.
US don’t give a damn about Russian interests at all.
US wants weak Russia. US wants Russian scientists, and Russian women for sex.
I hate USA before perestroika, and I hate US even more now.
I say partnership thinking of rivalry,
I say friends, thinking of enemy.
Bush says, “Iraq, Iran, Chechnya, North Korea, Afghanistan, terrorism, energy, trade, blah, blah blah.”
He is a moron, and I don’t argue with fools.
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